I fucked up, Ma

2003 - wow.
I can honestly say that a year ago today,I was a different person, just go to my archives for March. I feel kinda sick~ 2003 is not my proudest year. Lucky for me 2004 will be spent making up for many irresponsible choices. I wonder if I ever would have imagined at the time that those choices were going to land me living with my parents for most of 2004.

I feel really great saying now that my biggest problems are financial and therefore not that big of a deal. It's going to take time of course, but life's not too terrible.

I've never felt this comfortable with myself. I've learned my limits, my weaknesses, some of my strengths. Most importantly, I've learned not to worry about things that are totally beyond any of my control.

It's going to be alright.

hehehe

I just did an online relationship Tarot reading cause I left my cards at Beth's and here are a few things that made me chuckle.

The card in the lower left represents how your partner sees you. The Fool, when reversed: Apathy, negligence, and dangerous carelessness. Unquenchable wanderlust. Obsession with someone or something. Losing all sense of proportion. Foolhardy adventuring and lack of interest in critical matters. Immature or unrealistic ideals. Strange impulses and desires coming from unexpected sources. Vanity, delirium, folly, and oblivion.

apathetic? me?

The card in the lower right represents what your partner feels about you. Five of Pentacles (Worry): Hard times brought on by addiction, wasteful spending, ill health, or an outside event. Rejection, loneliness, and the need for comfort. May suggest unemployment, a catastrophe in personal finance, or a turn for the worse in business.

wasteful spending? Those crazy cards

Movie Soundtrack

I got this from a link on Janelle's page.

I thought long and hard and downloaded so much new music. It took me about three hours. Here:

Opening credits: Crazy - Patsy Cline
Waking up scene: Walkin' on Sunshine - Katrina and the Waves
The low self esteem looking in the mirror after a shower scene: Deeper Than Beauty - Sloan
The try on entire closet in a matter of seconds scene: Too Sexy - Right Said Fred
Average day scene: Opening from the Andy Griffith Show
Best friend scene: We are Gonna be Friends - White Stripes
Getting drunk with best friend scene: Bohemian Rhapsody - Queen
Happy dance scene: Conga - Miami Sound Machine
Wild reckless party scene: For my People - Missy Elliot
Morning after scene: Wasn't That a Party - Irish Rovers
Love at first sight scene: My Boy Lollipop - Little Millie Small
First date scene: So Happy Together - The Turtles
Best sex of your life scene: Fuck you Like an Animal - NIN
Catch lover cheating scene: Jolene - Dolly Parton
Break up scene: Jesus Christ Pose - Soundgarden
Casual sex scene: Give it away now - Red Hot Chilli Peppers
Long night alone scene: The Piano has been Drinking - Tom Waits
Fight at home with parents scene: Just like You - Three Days Grace
Mental breakdown scene: Jesus Ranch - Tenacious D
Suicide attempt scene: The End - The Doors
Driving in the rain scene: No Rain - Blind Melon
Deep thought scene: Clocks - Coldplay
Flashback scene: Remember the Time - Michael Jackson
Regret scene: No Regrets - Gob
Change in lifestyle scene: Blackbird - The Beatles
Get back together scene: Come Away With me - Norah Jones
"Life's okay" scene: Home for a Rest - Spirit of the West
Death scene: So Long, Farewell - Sound of Music Soundtrack
Closing credits: City of Lakes - Matt Mayes

booyah a review

I originally wanted to post a review yesterday, but was too pissed to do so. Here is a review of a few different things.

Vichy Normaderm
Finally a skin clearing product that has shown me results. As the bottle says, "Four weeks to healthy looking skin," I'm two weeks in and enjoying it. It's not just your usual pore refiner, it does that plus gets rid of red spots and evens out your complexion. If you have any problems with your skin, buy this product, a bit pricey, but worth it. It has helped me more than any perscription medication has. Maybe someday I will be a girl in her twenties that doesn't look like she has the skin of a thirteen-year-old.

Run Ronnie Run
This movie is great. It's about a guy that's always appearing on a tv show like Cops called, "Fuzz." He's on this show so often, he gets his own reality TV show where he just has to get arrested day after day after day. It's hilarious. There are many comedic cameos including two ex-Kids in the Hallers. I don't know many names of comedians, but before the movie starts to even roll credits, there is a gentleman sitting at a desk introducing the movie that tells the "kids" to "jump up and turn around every time you hear a curse word" then he says something like he would get a real kick out of it. Anyway, he comes back halfway through the movie and introduces a scene that was supposedly cut from a famous children's movie and it cuts to a bunch of men dressed as chimney sweeps. Then out of nowhere, Jack Black appears as a chimney sweep too and sings the most hilarious song I've ever heard. Cut back to Run Ronnie Run. Awesome. My favorite character in the movie was one of Ronnie's best friends. He's probably going to remind most people of Bubbles from TPB, but he's played by David Koechner and came along way before Bubbles. I've written way too much about this movie.

Assassin's Apprentice
I've been reading this fantasy series that consists of two trilogies (Farseer Trilogy and The Tawny Man Series) and it's my favorite story EVER. Anyway, this is the first book of the first Trilogy that I had never read until last week. I highly recommend getting into this series if you like Romantic Fantasy stuff. There's no weird creature like Orcs or knomes or anything like that, it's just about Kings and Queens and treason and maybe some magic and legends of dragons. Great book.

Anywho, gotta go cause today we're getting cable internet. YAY!! I fucking hate you, Vibe!!!(dsl)

Fuckin' English Majors

Holy shit. NEVER EVER EVER give out your email address, you never know when it's going to bite you in the ass. I did a project with a group of people two years ago and gave them my address to get ahold of me, send me info, etc. So today one of the guys from the group decides to put me on his msn list. His hotmail address wasn't a name or anything so I just added him thinking that he was a friend, or an acquaintence (yes I am aware, I can't spell).

So I ask who it was and he gave me a name - Jonathan Smith (original), he procedes to tell me that he "found" my email address and then asks how I know him and says that he's glad to have my email and obviously I had given it to him for a reason. I'm an honest person so I said, I don't know you and I also don't randomly give out my email address. He starts naming off faculties at UPEI asking what my major is, where I hang out, was I at NSO this year - yang yang yang. Do I hang out in the English lounge, who do I know that does blah blah. Do I shop at Indigo what books have I ordered recently if any.

Once he said Indigo, I knew he was a guy from a project I did (a long fucking time ago). And so I bring this up and he denies ever taking that course and no he's never done a project on this particular author. I am damn sure of a creepy guy named Jonathan that I did a project with. Denies the whole thing. Says to me "I obviously have this email for a reason."

My reply "yeah for the Munro project. How many times do I have to tell you that I don't give out my email address to random people unless it was for a school project (I said that about seven times)."

Creepy Guy "Oh well I found it in my room and I know it must be for something I hope I'm not creeping you out."

Amber = tired and cranky. Amber does not like liars. Amber just got off work where she was shit on all day by her cranky boss.

Amber - "actually, you ARE creeping me out. Normal people would have just thrown the email out if they didn't recognize it instead of adding the person to their msn first thing. It is very lame to try and pick up on messenger: I hope this is a lesson learned. Please try not to cry too much when you find yourself blocked and deleted. FYI I don't even live on PEI and you've wasted much of my and your time."

Since I'm so smart, I blocked and deleted Bob.

creepy guy - "I'm going to block you"

Amber "good one"

So then I blocked and deleted the proper parties and sent a panic stricken email to Bob asking how I can undelete and unblock him, but I figured it out.

Jonathan Smith, you are a prime example of why I, as an English major myself, will never step foot in the English lounge. Almost the whole faculty is as fucked up in the head as you are. Get a fucking life, you are the reason I am most hesitant about telling people what I spend thousands of dollars on each year.

As for me, I am now Amber Geddes the non-English major/French Lit. minor. That's right, I'm one up on ya, I can read in TWO languages.

Double What the Fuck?

I got another full-time job today. This one was from Fiddler's Pub, a brand spankin' new pub in Riverview, it's the Fox's latest rival. I got called to start today at 5 so I'm just getting home now. I only worked until 930 but then stayed there and drank till 11 (two whole beers). Fun Fun.

So, I'm a working girl again with a job that hired me and scheduled me for my first shift all in one day. Things are so far looking up. Maybe that slut Ricky will get spade after all....

What the Fuck?

I got a full-time job today.....from ICT. Puzzling. It doesn't start till April 12 which will give me lots of time to get used to the idea of working again. Maybe they'll finally catch Marlena on Days by then.

Also, look at the date. Just so you know, Jussy and me have called it, Courtney love is probably going to kill herself on April 5 and probably leave a note saying something like, "I killed Kurt, lol. Justin and Amber called it. Amber, here's the ten bucks from your bet."

Just wait, you'll see.

Barf

Ugh. So here I sit watching American Idol with my dad discussing the possibility that the football player singer guy has a HUGE crush on Ryan Seacrest and Ricky decides to puke under the coffee table. Wicked. I love cleaning chunky warm cat vomit. Let's hope I have a nanny for my kids if, God forbid, I ever get laid and knocked up.

whooooooooooooooooooooo dog!

You know, I may be way way way down in the dumps and UPEI might have just sent me to a collection agency because Canada Student Loans still hasn't forked over their money yet, but I'm okay.

It's times like these when you just have to Fuckin' Giver. And that is exactly what I am going to do.

**Edit self-centered pity post**

Fitting in and taking names

I still have no job and nothing's new with me.

Who would have thought that one busy drunken weekend could change someone so much. Not only has my friend Beth applied to UPEI for the fall, but now just to be a little more like an Islander, she's got her own blogger. Check it out here or just click on my links where it says "Barf."

heh

This reminds me of soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo many people that I know.

"I never looked around never second guessed, then I read some Howard Zinn now I'm always depressed
And now I can't sleep from years of apathy, all because I read a little Noam Chomsky
I'm eating vegetation cuz a Fast Food Nation, I wear uncomfortable shoes cuz of globalization
I'm watching Michael Moore expose the awful truth, I'm listening to Public Enemy and Reagan Youth
I see no world peace cuz of zealous armed forces, I eat no breath mints cuz they're from de-hoofed horses
Now I can't believe what an absolute failure, the president's laughing cuz we voted for Nader "

NOFX - Franco UnAmerican

The Heat is On

Ugh. I didn't sleep all night cause stupid Ricky Dumbpants is in heat.
I need a job so I can get her spade....Fast.

TMN: The Movie Network

I've finally seen Bowling for Columbine and I am left with one question - What the hell does all of this have to do with flowers? Just kidding. My favorite parts were when Michael Moore brought those two fellows from the school to K-Mart headquarters and when Moore was in Toronto opening people's front doors saying, "I can't believe this."

Although I was as pleased as a clam in my ignorance, the little information I've gained from the movie makes me want to read more into current events and some past ones too. Damn you Michael Moore!!! You've made me start thinking!!

I deleted my Ask Amber blog cause I got bored of it. It was such a good idea at the time, especially after the second expresso.

Speaking of coffee, here's a quick fact. No matter where you are standing in Moncton, New Brunswick, you're always within at least three kilometres of a Tim Horton's. Food for thought.

Not Just a Pretty Face

I've been watching the news a lot lately. I still don't understand about 88% of Canada's, or the world's current events, but I thought I'd throw in a few thoughts.

1. Take Todd Bertuzzi out of hockey for life. Cheap Bastard.

2. If that Belinda lady ever takes over for the PC party, I'm switching from Liberal to Conservative.

3. I have no faith federally in the current Liberal government, but at the same time, I think New Brunswick and PEI would both benefit from dumping their PC leaders, Lord and Binns. Get rid of Binns now, work on Lord later.

4. Johnny Depp modeled Captain Jack Sparrow after Keith Richards and is currently looking for someone for his model of Willy Wonka. He says he doesn't want to copy Gene Wilder and doesn't know how not to. I say, if you're going to model Wonka after anyone, make it Rip Taylor - Please.

Awesome, Wicked, Fun, Tubular, Good Times

I had the most crushing weekend ever. I was hurt deeply by a family member whom I love with every ounce of my very being. How do you ever recover from an event so devastating, an awakening so rude, that no words at all can describe the way you feel? This was the person that I thought I could always turn to no matter what happened and right now I feel so lost. I don't even know how to punctuate that last sentence.

I'm sure things will get better, I'll work through my feelings and go back to me. In the meantime, way to go Dad.

Yeah so...

I don't have anything to post about. I have two job interviews next week, but I've been to so many lately, I'm not even excited. There's a dirty fox and hound-like pub opening up in town, I think I'll apply to work at this new competition spot. Who knows, it may turn out to be dirtier. Wicked!

A day late and a dollar short

Time flies when you have no job...

I have started a new book which is pretty darn good so far. It's called Clan of the Cavebear by Jean M. Auel. It's part one of a part four series. It's all about the evolution of mankind, the characters are very primitive although I'm not sure at which stage. They use rocks for knives and no metal, so if you're into that kind of thing, it's a good read. Good fiction for Anthro kids.

I'm also reading another book called Travels With Charley by John Steinbeck. I love John Steinbeck. This one is a book he wrote after driving all over the USA with his dog, Charley. He meets up with some French Canadians for about a chapter and has nothing but great things to say, so even though the book is about Americans, I still like it. The way that Mr. Steinbeck describes scenery and landscapes is what attracted me to the book in the first place and what is my favorite part still.

Can you not tell that I've always wanted to be one of those kids on at the end of Reading Rainbow?