Rock out with your teeth out

So here I am, posting from PEI. It had to have been a good night cause all I can taste is vomit. Part of me wants to feel disgusted by that but the other part of me just wants to say "Awesome, you're a party momma." Whatever a party momma is.

Metal Madnes rocked my socks. I am a dirtbag and I dirted it up and all was right with the world.

Friday night was fun too - after my pants dried. I sat in something that made the back of my pants soaked for two hours. I was soooo pissed, but then they dried and I rocked out to Matt Mayes and El Torpedo.

Days was so crazy on Friday. I can't wait till tomorrow.

ugh

I did nothing all day today. Well, that's not exactly true. I went to the store to get a Coke, Beth was with me then we watched Days of our Lives (Oh my God, Marlena tried to kill Sean!! ~or~ Did she kill that girl that was hiding in his closet??!!!!!!!) and then Oprah. Oprah had all the hot guys from the TLC building shows on today. I love Andrew Dan Jumbo.

Since having no job (Friday) I am so addicted to Day of Our Lives. I wish I could warp time and just watch the show and then warp to the next until I knew EVERYTHING and then, I'd come back into time and just be a jackass that knew all.

Amber the Jobless Wonder

Since I'm so busy these days, I thought that I would make a new advice blogger. It's called Ask Amber. Basically you leave a comment with a question and then I'll post a reply. It's unfortunate that we have to run through a comment system, but here at Amber Enterprises, you should be proud enough that I got out of bed today.

Enjoy my advice page which you can find on my links sidebar. I'm sure it will be chalk full of witty Amberisms, ripped off quotations, and untruths.

I live to give, and my knowledge and expert advice is my gift to you. Enjoy.

It's not juice, it's a protein shake

I liked the new Adam Sandler movie. I thought it was going to suck like all the other ones after Happy Gilmore until I saw Sean Astin. Sean, I've loved you since Rundy and in 50 First Dates, you shined like freshly polished chrome.

Which brings me to another point. While watching an episode of Spongebob Squarepants, where Squidword gets locked in the freezer at Krusty Krab and freezes himself only to thaw later on in time, a funny concept was brought to my attention.

When Squidword emerges into the future, he asks Spongebob why everything is made of chrome and then it cuts to a clip of a flower growing and then a government truck pulls over to it and spray paints it chrome.

I guess two things were brought to my attention.
1. The immense popularity of chrome
2. Cartoon's are the Jonathan Swift of today. Meaning, satire at it's best.

Posting, as well as celebrity spelling bee, has brought to my attention my inability to spell. For the amount of reading that I pretend to do, I should be a better speller and have a much larger vocabulary. Like skateboarding though, I think I just make a better poser.

In other news, my temp job is over. I got rid of that gay quote from Zepplin's Kashmir and replaced it with a gay quote from Sublime. Awesome. I'm a fucking one-man band.

Let's all spend a moment in silence in mourning of the world's greatest band - dreams amongst stars. hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

You want more references?

Get the damn dildo out of your ass, you stupid bitch!

Priorities

Instead of reading into more important issues like how I lost my job at ICT today, I read into my love life. Great, I'm glad that was the only thing on my mind last night. Forget my sick grandmother too. Sometimes I let my lost high school inner child get the best of me.

I am so disappointed. I was going to ask someone out for coffee today and now I don't think that I'll be able to afford it. Sorry Dad, looks like you'll be missing more money out of your change jar.

So my long period of abstinance did end today. I did get fucked, just by the wrong people.

Time has come today

I had been spending a lot of time playing with Tarot cards lately until my grammy got sick. Today I did one of my first readings in a while and since yesterday was Valentine's day, I thought I would read into my love life. Since Tarot is fun, I thought I would post my results.

Card one - represents the current situation
The Hermit
The one you await with a candle in the window returns. Or the long road leads back to the place where it all began. A pilgrimage to an old haunt may be involved. A time of abstinance begins or ends. You seek expert advice.
(woohoo, I'm gonna get laid!)

Card two - Represents the action I should consider taking
Strength Reversed
Someone's got you by the hair of your chinny-chin-chin. Or try not to let this one get away (cause I'm gonna get laid).

Card three - Represents the outcome I can expect
The World Reversed
You never thought you'd feel this way again especially at this time of your life. Love is always better the second time around, this too, is the real thing. (Yay! Love was wicked the first time around, and it's supposed to get better!! Maybe once I get laid and fall in love, I won't be so bitter anymore....probably not)

Happy International Chocolate Day!

Yo

What's up?

Not a whole lot new here. Stress level is extremely high. My grammy had a stroke on Sunday and refuses to go to the hospital, or doctor. She's been really sick lately and now she can't walk. I'm super sad, scared, and overly frustrated.

I was going to work overtime to get my mind off of things, but hours were cut in half this week.

I'm smoking a big fuckin joint on Valentine's day and masturbating all day long.

What's the opposite of being cool? Amber.

I am a blubbering drunk. It's ok though, I'm going to subway.

Hohum...as annoying as I am sober, my dad locked me out of the house last night. I'm going to take that as a sign. Luckily my neighbors don't lock their door, so I went to their house and slept on the couch. They were all in bed and kinda creeped out by seeing me there this morning, but it's all good. I guess I'll have to go to subway two times.

So, the guy I've been trying to call all week did come out last night with everyone from work. Unfortunately he was a half hour late and I was already shit faced. Ugh. I am very mad at myself right now. I'm trying to tell myself that I don't feel bad and that it was no big deal, but I think I'm going to spend the rest of the afternoon in mourning for my lost good first impression.

My subway count is up to three trips today. Three subs to make up for one night. Rough. I'm getting their soup too.

The Call

I did get the guts and make a call on Monday. As much as it took out of me, I am still very disappointed that there wasn't anybody home. I tried to call yesterday, but he was sleeping. This both made me feel kinda bummed and excited. Rumor has it, he sleeps just as much as I do - I didn't know that was possible.

Even if I don't get a call in, we're still going to The Fox with a bunch of people from work on Friday (ps he doesn't work with me anymore).

I'm not sure what to wear. The Fox is dirty and luckily so am I so I shouldn't have a problem figuring it out :)

I'm the Chariot

Hey word up. Spent almost all of last night doing Tarrot card stuff. Will probably do the same old shit tonight. Wicked fun I tell you.

Ladies, being poor has shown me so much. My mom refuses to buy me toiletry type things so I shaved my legs with shampoo last night. Still soft as hell. That's right, throw out the shave gel, get some shampoo on those legs. Rumor has it, conditioner is better. It makes the legs silky and smooth. Honestly, never shave with shave gel, or cream again. This is my shampoo testimonial. Why isn't it already printed on the back of the bottle?

So plans for tonight; I have a phone call to make. It's either going to make or brake me. No it's not really, I just wanted to sound really important.

Coffee?

How 'bout no
~ or ~
I'm a fuckin' one man band

WELL, had a very interesting weekend. I went on a pub crawl, cut off my mullet, and celebrated Janelle's 21st birthday. It was a busy little vacation and I am very glad to be back home. Thanks to all for the hospitality and for helping me show my friend Beth and cousin Robert that PEI really is a cool place......honest.

Word up, it's off to working for another 14 days straight. I love gold.