The Ugly Duckling

These times they are a changing. Well, in a sad and depressed mood yesterday I put in my hours at work, then came home, then returned back to work and grabbed some extra hours. This is my life.

There are so many things that I have been missing lately. I used to be called Girly. My hair was patted and played with frequently. There's a certian spot on your shoulder where my head could rest perfectly. Your embraces, your kisses, waking up with you in the morning; there are so many things that I miss and want back more than anything. Life does go on. I miss your company, your companionship, your love.

At this time, I must hold myself up. Times have been hard, but when are they ever easy? Although the loss hurts more than expected, there is a small part of me that still holds excitement. If I was this loved by a great friend, than how can I not be excited to see what the future brings? I must stop going on and on as if there was something that I did wrong.

Perhaps this ugly duckling will become a beautiful swan? Why not? I did come out with a great friend who means the world to me.

I love you.

You can't rape the willing

Hi. I think that someone put something in my drink at the Rockin Rodeo last night. I had two beers and one mixed drink and threw up the whole way from the bar to my house, which is a decent drive. Probably from On-line Support to the skate shop in Stratford. Anyway, I eventually got to a point where I couldn't walk. All of this off three drinks. I have been sick all day today and I will probably leave work early tomorrow, unless I'm feeling better.

All I have to say is, if you want to sleep with me, please don't drug me. That was no fun. And I would have been throwing up all over your naked body at least until I passed out. That's not hot. Oh yeah, and neither is being French and a cowboy and fourty. Sorry.

What I want

I'm going home tomorrow for my brother's graduation.

I want all of the hot guys at home that were too good for me in my senior year to stare at me.
I want to go skateboarding.
I want to see Shane.
I want to get accepted into Mt.Allison.
I want to get a job at Aliant NB.
I want to buy a Mini.
I want great marks.
I want scholaships to study in France and/or England.
I want to be a high school teacher.
I want to pay off student loans.
I want breast implants.
I want to live in Texas.
I want to be a hermit and/or a cat lady.
I want to travel to Australia and surf.
I want to travel to NYC.
I want to retire in British Columbia.

I used to want a husband and children, but now I am too afraid.
I want to be fearless.

I'm a rabbit vibe! Stylish, voracious, and I know
exactly what I want and how to get it. Rrowr!

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Copy Cat

I thought it would be fun to write about my crushes. Mad props to Janelle for the idea. I'm pretty sure that nobody will know who I'm talking about, but as long as I'm being entertained, it's okay.

Grade one
Scott - I don't know his last name but it must have started with G because he sat beside me. He moved away to Saint John before grade 2, so I never knew it. He called me his girlfriend.

Grade2
Jordan Bateman - He was so hot. Blonde mullet and all. The coolest guy in the world. Michaelangelo was his favorite ninja turtle and he had the movie soundtrack.

Grade 3
Jordan Bateman - Still had the mullet. He called me gonzo, I called him camilla. Need I say more? His mom said that I was a "real rocket."

Grade 4
Jordan Dugas - I had a thing for Jordan's. He wore the same shirt everyday. It was a red and black striped button up shirt.

Grade 5
Jordan Bateman - We officially "went out" for a week. Then someone was supposed to tell me that he broke up with me, but they didn't so I thought that the relationship lasted a lot longer than that. Kids can be so cruel.

Grade 6
Jordan Dugas and Shawn Dorsey - I sat beside Jordan which initiated a crush, and Shawn Dorsey was cool. He played basketball. He was actually normal, but in grade 6, Jordan started his first punk band. So hot!

Grade 7
Jon Simms. - Hot Skater, played the drums. I love skaters.
Ray Lamoine - We danced together to Can you Feel the Love tonight. He was a huge Nirvana and Soundgarden.

Grade 8
Jon Sanford - I must have a thing for Jordan's and Jon's with no h's. Really cool guy. Liked SNL as much as I did. Very cute. Dimples.
Matt McLean - Also liked SNL. Big Nirvana fan. Made me a mixed tape. My favorite song on it was Zero. Best friends with Ray Lemoine. We traded SNL tapes all summer.
Josh someone - Went through a churchy phase. He was in my youth group.
My youth pastor wanted to take me out one night and I said ok because I was naive. He was 22. I was not allowed to go back to church. My mom banned God. I started drinking.

Grade 9
Mark Oatway - He was in grade 12. This was my first year of high school. Not a chance in hell. I started listening to a lot of Sloan this year and I smoked for two months. BAD ASS

Grade 10
Jamie Leger - First real boyfriend. Fun guy. Was also into the Ramones. We were a punk rock couple. We had matching chucks. How cute? Went out for three years. He was both an ex-drummer and a skater and one of the funniest people that I know. If you like good ole fashion shit disturbing, you'll love Jay. He told me once that he got me a shockwave for Christmas and I was really excited because that's what I wanted for a main present from my parents so he told them not to buy it for me. It was a fucking SUPER NINTENDO. What the hell? I don't even play video games. I do give him mad props for getting me into RPG's though. And he puts Jeff to shame with the video game stuff, if that's even something to be proud of. Well he dumped me. Reason "I don't want to go out with the same girl for the rest of my life"
ok

First Year at UPEI
Bob- nicest guy in the world. EVER. Nothing bad to say about the guy. Had a lot of good times. He's my best friend. I wish nothing but the best for Bob. We went out for two and a half years. He dumped me. Reason "I can't see myself dating the same girl forever." Just kidding. It was just time. Not going to describe anything about Bob, cause you all know him. He knows and is friends with everybody.

What's next?
Going to fufill my lifelong dream and become a hermit.

YOU EAT PEOPLE!!!


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Reading Rainbow

Hello everybody. I've been reading a lot of books lately and I have learned a lot. I am reading a self-help/personal growth book called The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz. It is a Toltec wisdom book. So far, so good. Basically it teaches how to free yourself from all of the negative agreements that were made during your lifespan. There are four positive agreements that lead to personal freedom and they are as follows:
1. Be impeccable with your word
2. Don't take anything personally
3. Don't make assumptions
4. Always do your best

Seems like common sense now doesn't it? It's harder than it looks.
It's a good read.

Sue's Quickie

It was such a lovely day today. Well evening. I didn't get out until 6ish. I played ball and lost. It was horrible. Oh well. Trailer Park Boys was really good tonight. I had a nice relaxing night eating pizza, watching tv, msning. Then I walked home at 1130ish. It was a really nice night out. Perfect for walking. I want to go for another walk, but I'm afraid to go alone. Maybe tomorrow.

Merci d'avoir appelez Sprint Canada

So I got onto the french queue. Yay for me fifty more cents each hour. And then my year raise after that. Yay. Finally into the double digits of hourly pay. Woohoo. If this is all I'm getting for good Karma in my life, fucking bring it.

Good things to look forward to:

Going home. I really miss my dad and everyone else, I guess.
Canned pop, and plastic bottled pop. Mmmm coke.
Job at Aliant. I'm a shoe in. They pay very well. I can make posts about how much money I make then.
No rent.
Going to Mt.A in January. A reputable school. Better for Arts.
Bars that are not Myron's. Myron's does hold a special place in my heart though.

I really hope that things will be as good as I imagine they will be.

It's due time for good Karma.

Living Proof

When I was home in April, I had some dental x-rays done. I only have three wisdom teeth. That's it just three and I have never had any pulled. It's evolution baby. I am fucking living proof.