Misfits Poster

I have experienced a small miracle. After tomorrow, I don’t have to work until Thursday so I therefore can stay in PEI until Wednesday. How cool is that?

Melissa and Carolyn (and all of you other crazy nineteen-year-olds), I want to test out my new fake id so, let’s go to a bar on like Monday or something. It’ll be fun, and dirty. Drinking on Mondays is wrong.

Licorice Babies

Isn't this sad? I am running out of titles. I don't really have much to say today. Why do anorexics always look like they have really long arms? You can tell if someone is anorexic by the mile long arms on the bitches. Gez. Well not much happened at the dollorama today. I was asked if we sold children's crayons. I wanted to tell the lady that we only had aldult's crayons, but I figured that it was pointless and I didn't really want to talk to her for any longer than I had to. Well, I should get going. I have to get a needle tonight, but I get wendy's if I am a good girl and I don't cry.

The Duchess of Dollorama

I have such a funny job. I guess you could say that it’s not the job that’s funny, just the people who come into the store. There is this guy who I secretly call old half nose man who walks through the mall everyday and looks at me with his half nose. It is totally disgusting. I almost throw up every time. I want to tell him that if he is going to look at me, he can look at me with the other side of his face that doesn’t have the half nose on it. Totally fucking disgusting. I want to puke, I want to scream. The guy has got to be about seventy or something. Gross gross gross. I know what you are probably thinking, “wow, Amber is a terrible human being.” Well if I am so horrible than why isn’t my nose rotting off of my fucking face. Fuck that is gross.

I really am a horrible person. Here is an example of the most amusing thing that has happened to me in a while. The characters in my story are me and some fifty-five to sixty-year-old man.

Old man “Nice day out isn’t it?”
Me “Yes it sure is.”
Old man “Nice day for the race.”
Me “ I guess it would be a nice day for a race.”
Old man “You don’t know what race I am talking about do you?”
Me “No, I’m sorry I don’t”
Old man “The human race.”

What’s so bad about that story? Nothing. Nothing besides the fact that I started laughing in his face. I’m still laughing for Christ’s sake. I tried to cover it up by coughing, but the tears were rolling down my cheeks and I couldn’t help but laugh out loud. Everybody around me thought that I was going crazy. I haven’t laughed like that for a while. It kinda felt good.

Hello All!

What is new? Oh me, not much. I went to the apple blossom festival in Kentville, N.S. with Bobby and Patty Jo and we stayed with Sam. It was great. I got a fake id so now I can go to myron’s or the cosmo anytime I want. Bobby got into a bar without getting carded. I was so proud. I wasn’t carded either. I got a new belly ring too. It is way cool. I want to thank Bob for picking it out.

I was working today at the dollar store and I saw a lady wearing a very ugly sweater. It was red and it was made to look like one of those university sweaters with the plaid lettering on it, but the lettering was done in green, blue, and white plaid lettering. Anywho, the sweater said “University of Style” and it was the funniest thing that I saw today. I want to go to the university of style.

Got a little bit of a sunburn this weekend. I kept asking Bobby if I was tanned, but he said no and then when we got back to get ready for the bar, I was bright red. Red as a lobster I am. Asshole

I think that I am going to lie my way through another weekend off so I can come to pei because I miss all of my island folk. I miss you all!!! I should get going for now though so I’ll see you (postwise) later!