The Duchess of Dollorama
I have such a funny job. I guess you could say that it’s not the job that’s funny, just the people who come into the store. There is this guy who I secretly call old half nose man who walks through the mall everyday and looks at me with his half nose. It is totally disgusting. I almost throw up every time. I want to tell him that if he is going to look at me, he can look at me with the other side of his face that doesn’t have the half nose on it. Totally fucking disgusting. I want to puke, I want to scream. The guy has got to be about seventy or something. Gross gross gross. I know what you are probably thinking, “wow, Amber is a terrible human being.” Well if I am so horrible than why isn’t my nose rotting off of my fucking face. Fuck that is gross.
I really am a horrible person. Here is an example of the most amusing thing that has happened to me in a while. The characters in my story are me and some fifty-five to sixty-year-old man.
Old man “Nice day out isn’t it?”
Me “Yes it sure is.”
Old man “Nice day for the race.”
Me “ I guess it would be a nice day for a race.”
Old man “You don’t know what race I am talking about do you?”
Me “No, I’m sorry I don’t”
Old man “The human race.”
What’s so bad about that story? Nothing. Nothing besides the fact that I started laughing in his face. I’m still laughing for Christ’s sake. I tried to cover it up by coughing, but the tears were rolling down my cheeks and I couldn’t help but laugh out loud. Everybody around me thought that I was going crazy. I haven’t laughed like that for a while. It kinda felt good.
I have such a funny job. I guess you could say that it’s not the job that’s funny, just the people who come into the store. There is this guy who I secretly call old half nose man who walks through the mall everyday and looks at me with his half nose. It is totally disgusting. I almost throw up every time. I want to tell him that if he is going to look at me, he can look at me with the other side of his face that doesn’t have the half nose on it. Totally fucking disgusting. I want to puke, I want to scream. The guy has got to be about seventy or something. Gross gross gross. I know what you are probably thinking, “wow, Amber is a terrible human being.” Well if I am so horrible than why isn’t my nose rotting off of my fucking face. Fuck that is gross.
I really am a horrible person. Here is an example of the most amusing thing that has happened to me in a while. The characters in my story are me and some fifty-five to sixty-year-old man.
Old man “Nice day out isn’t it?”
Me “Yes it sure is.”
Old man “Nice day for the race.”
Me “ I guess it would be a nice day for a race.”
Old man “You don’t know what race I am talking about do you?”
Me “No, I’m sorry I don’t”
Old man “The human race.”
What’s so bad about that story? Nothing. Nothing besides the fact that I started laughing in his face. I’m still laughing for Christ’s sake. I tried to cover it up by coughing, but the tears were rolling down my cheeks and I couldn’t help but laugh out loud. Everybody around me thought that I was going crazy. I haven’t laughed like that for a while. It kinda felt good.
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