2011


I’m typing this on a laptop and it’s already been deleted...twice. Hopefully I don’t get too frustrated and just shut the computer down. I don’t know how it’s happened, but by some magic shortcut, as I type on this little pad, I must not be lifting my wrists high enough and keep pressing the shortcuts to delete.

Fucking shortcuts...the definition of our generation.

Unfortunately I’m part of a generation that wants it all, but is totally unwilling to do any work for it. We feel like the world owes us. We take advantage of systems put in place by our predecessors, like sick leave from work, medicare, drug coverage, etc. And we’re just driving it into the ground. We’ll soon be left with nothing and be the biggest belly achers having already wasted all those crocodile tears. How are we to ever get ahead without complaining to a free doctor for a made up pain, get paid time off work, pay $4 for a prescription, and then laugh while selling the pills on the street for 6 bucks a pop?

I don’t know. Maybe I’m just having a bitter moment this new year. Better to get that taste out of my mouth early and get on with it. I can’t even say that I blame our generation for doing what we do, or that I’ve never done any of those things myself. How can people be motivated when we’ve seen more times than not, that it’s mostly a who –you-know game rather than a work-hard-and-get-what-you-deserve game.

I’m not trying to say that all people who work hard get nothing. I’m just saying that I’m tired of our lazy generational game. I’m done with doing nothing and expecting it all. I’m done with apathy as well. It’s just as bad, expecting nothing so that you don’t have to do anything.

So here it is, my new year’s revolution...I’m not taking any more easy ways out. I’m not going to sit around and watch others do it either. My stand will be a discreet one (except for this post lol) and I have no idea what the fuck I’m going to do to better myself, but this is a first step and right now, that’s more than most people can ask for.

On a lighter note, here’s a short list of my resolutions for 2011, because if you commit your goals to paper, spoken word, blog etc, you’re more likely to complete them
-Go back to the gym
-Take the 10k clinic and finish it
-Stop slacking at my job and see where actual hard work might take me
-Look into going back to school...some kind of night course, whether a new course or a degree completion
-Save some cash for a rainy day
-Floss daily and go to the dentist
-Go to pei this summer
-Play outside with Seth more

“Eden is that old-fashioned House
We dwell in every day
Without suspecting our abode
Until we drive away.

How fair on looking back, the Day
We sauntered from the Door –
Unconcious our returning,
But discover it no more.”

-Emily Dickinson

Wow this is such a true to life poem (aren’t they all?). I’ve been living at my father’s house for the past two weeks with my son until our apartment is finally ready (October sometime…YAY!). Although it is abolutely fantastic to be there, it just brings so much stuff back. I hated living there (the first couple of times lol), and only ever focused on the negative, but now as time has passed and everything has changed, I long for just one more day to go back to my childhood (preferrably the summer time) and laze around the house, maybe go outside on the swing set or in the kiddie pool, pulls some carrotts out of the garden when I don’t think my mother is looking and wash them off in the pool and eat them!

For all the time that I’ve spent complaining (and I’m sure I’ve got quite the logs on here!!), I just wish that I could have been greatful at the time for at least a moment. I am more than greatful now and hope that I can continue to practice this gratitude and put it toward everything I do. I am a very lucky person; I’ve got great friends, a family who loves me, and the world’s best boy. Anything else is just icing on the cake.

I lost a rose quartz in my bed this morning

I slept with it under my pillow because I'm trying to work on this whole self-love thing, but I forgot it was there and when I was making my bed this morning I must have flung it accross the room or something because it's gone.

So, if you lose a crystal that promotes self-love, does that mean that you should prepare yourself for some intense self hatred? LOL! I love asking these questions to the more serious new age people. They don't get that I'm joking yet. I love it too that some are sooooo hard core and serious about it too, just like with any other type of religion. You'd think that something labled "New Age" would be more laid back. Unfortunately that is not the case.

Anyway, this laptop is starting to annoy me so I'm going to have to type something up at work and email it to myself.

until next time!

ughhhhhhhh full out facebook chat war..............

where is my sidekick? he should be fighting this battle with me!!!!!

Why does the craziest shit happen when I'm by myself?

Oooh this is so true!! Do you know what I saw today? I was driving home to my dad's house and there's an elderly man driving on the street, not even the sidewalk, a hover-round or whatever they're called and he's going super slow and he's got an engineer's cap on. Hilarious. It just struck me so funny and yeah now that I type it out, it's kinda dumb, but at the time it was hilarious. An engineer's cap...come on! on a hoveround!!!

Anyway it just struck me funny and then I came to the sad realization that I always see funny and fucked up shit when I'm alone. I don't even want to be in a relationship other than for the fact that you'll always have someone there just to be like "OMG, did you just see that?!!!" And then laugh about it.

And you wouldn't have to post about it later and then go, yeah you're right a guy on a motorized wheel chair with an engineer's cap on, isn't really that funny. Because you'd have that person there in the moment where it's actually kind of funny.

God, I think I just need a sidekick or something. Someone to hang out with me every second weekend when Billy has Seth. Cause Seth wasn't even with me today. That would have been alright. He would have laughed along just because I was, so he is in fact, the perfect sidekick, but I'd like to have a fill in for his days off. And it has to be a disposable sidekick. Like when I arrive at my destination, you can just go home and leave me be, unless otherwise directed.

I might put out a job add for it. Side kick needed, pays nothing. Must have same sense of humor as I do. Must like to snuggle (just in case I feel the need). Will go away whenever I want you to without your feelings getting hurt and ready to return whenever I call you up. Please list competition number 246843-1241.5654 in subject line.

I made a really cool picture at work today and I can't for some reason get it to post on here. That was going to be my whole post...my awesome assed picture. dammit.

just wait a little longer :P