I am crazy, hear me roar
I remember telling Taylor once last October that I was pretty sure I'd never see 22. I think he was sleeping at the time. Well, tomorrow's my birthday. T minus four hours and I'm the biggest liar ever.
In my never ending search of reading material that will make me feel like less of an idiot all the time just for reading it, I started reading a new magazine, Adbusters. There was a small part of an article that was talking about how anti depressants are way too common and are prescribed to people that don't really need them and blah blah blah. We shouldn't be trying to regulate hormones when we're not sure how it's affecting other hormones. Whatever.
So because of that article, and from talking to some friends that are off meds and seeing that they're ok, I make the ever-so-smart decision to stop taking mine. That was Saturday.
For whatever reason today, I get upset. Actually, it started when some pick up truck pulled out of Sobey's and half of their groceries fell out of the back of the truck because they had no tail gate. I got really sad thinking that they may not have been able to afford to lose that many groceries.
Awesome. I am awesome.
So not only am I sitting here crying over some stranger's groceries, but all of a sudden, it hits me.
OH MY GOD! I didn't get better.
Which flung me into the pits of despair that we are all too familiar with. Pick a fault and I've already thought about it and blamed myself for not making anything better. Why be depressed anyway? What the fuck'd I go and do that for?
So what. I made yet another crazy post. I'd do it more often, but I stop myself from posting a lot of the time.
Why? Because as cool as I pretend to be, I worry about "what people will think." Go ahead, if you're going to judge me, do it. Are you going to feel better for it? Why do I worry so much?
For as shitty as I feel and for as fucked up and unstructured as this post it, I still don't think I'm going to take the meds. And that makes me laugh.
Happy Birthday Amber, are you ready for another year of not getting out of bed?
I remember telling Taylor once last October that I was pretty sure I'd never see 22. I think he was sleeping at the time. Well, tomorrow's my birthday. T minus four hours and I'm the biggest liar ever.
In my never ending search of reading material that will make me feel like less of an idiot all the time just for reading it, I started reading a new magazine, Adbusters. There was a small part of an article that was talking about how anti depressants are way too common and are prescribed to people that don't really need them and blah blah blah. We shouldn't be trying to regulate hormones when we're not sure how it's affecting other hormones. Whatever.
So because of that article, and from talking to some friends that are off meds and seeing that they're ok, I make the ever-so-smart decision to stop taking mine. That was Saturday.
For whatever reason today, I get upset. Actually, it started when some pick up truck pulled out of Sobey's and half of their groceries fell out of the back of the truck because they had no tail gate. I got really sad thinking that they may not have been able to afford to lose that many groceries.
Awesome. I am awesome.
So not only am I sitting here crying over some stranger's groceries, but all of a sudden, it hits me.
OH MY GOD! I didn't get better.
Which flung me into the pits of despair that we are all too familiar with. Pick a fault and I've already thought about it and blamed myself for not making anything better. Why be depressed anyway? What the fuck'd I go and do that for?
So what. I made yet another crazy post. I'd do it more often, but I stop myself from posting a lot of the time.
Why? Because as cool as I pretend to be, I worry about "what people will think." Go ahead, if you're going to judge me, do it. Are you going to feel better for it? Why do I worry so much?
For as shitty as I feel and for as fucked up and unstructured as this post it, I still don't think I'm going to take the meds. And that makes me laugh.
Happy Birthday Amber, are you ready for another year of not getting out of bed?
1 Comments:
Happy bday Amber! Hope you have a great day! You deserve it.
Love ya,
Ter
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